Jennifer

I have always been somewhat unlucky when flying... I am usually sat next to someone irritating (this can be especially annoying on international flights) - But this was not the case, Monday, when I flew back to New York from Orlando...

I sat next to Jennifer.

Jennifer was 6......and Jennifer was awesome.

Jennifer's mother asked me as we were boarding if I would mind switching seats with her, so she could sit with her daughter. (Jennifer's Mom was hot) - I of course said I would move but Jennifer piped up "I don't want to sit with you Mommy, I want to sit with the man"

After a brief discussion, Jennifer, Jennifer's Mom and I all agreed it'd be cool if Jennifer wanted to sit with me... She took the window seat.

"I know everything about kissing, so you don't even need to tell me - I got boyfriends, and not just at my school, and other schools too"

"What's that truck?" she asked, looking out the window

I said "That's the truck that brings out all the luggage to the plane"

"Huh" She said "That's a whole lotta luggage. Why do people have so much luggage?"

"I don't know?" I said

"The Gub'ment should do something about it" she said.

I was sold. This was going to be awesome.

"What's yo' name anyway, Mr?" she asked. I told her my name was John, and asked her what her name was.

"My name's Jennifer... don't callme Jenny, ok! It's Jennifer"

I said "Funny, you're not the first Jennifer to tell me that."

"My nana used to call me Jenny, but now she's dead, so she don't call me Jenny no more"

**Evidently, now deceased, Jennifer's Nana calls her completely different**

Jennifer went on: "Do you Drink?

I said "Do I what?"

She said "You know...Drink... like... Liq'uuh?"

"Oh" I said "Sure, I drink... do you?"

"Don't be silly John... I'm 6. I'll drink when I'm 29" was her response.

I asked Jennifer "Do you live in New York"

She said "Yep. I live in Mad-Hatter"

I laughed. She laughed. And said "I'm just messin', aint no such place as Mad Hatter"

I decided that should it be necessary, I would steal this child...and keep her.

She asked "Are you married?" I said no, she asked "Do you have a Mom?" I said yes, and then she asked... "Do you have a girlfriend?"

I told her I was single...

She said "That's right John, keep it loose. That's how you do"

Jennifer's mother (who was hot) couldn't hear Jennifer, but exchanged glances with me that said "I know my kid well enough to know she's making potentially embarrassing conversation"

If Jennifer's mom weren't so hot, I'd have murdered her and stolen Jennifer.

Jennifer and I talked the whole flight. Well, Jennifer talked, I listened. She let me (Occasionally) listen to her mom's Mini iPod, onto which her Mom had burned her a Disney playlist... Her headphones were about twice the size of her head.

When the drinks cart arrived, Jennifer explained in great details that she'd be ordering but "that lady over there (her mother) would be "taking care of everything"

She was clearly a frequent flier, as nothing about the flight phased her at all. She was familiar with all the customs of flying, and ordered from the flight attendant with flare and confidence...

She asked what food was on offer, and the flight attendant showed her a tray of various items, from which Jennifer selected a giant cookie, a chocolate granola bar, gummy fruit animal snack things and a box of orange juice. I was told I could share her Animal fruit snacks...and I was also allowed half of her giant cookie.

She pointed to her mother, and told the flight attendant "she'll be taking care of this"

Someone else might have thought she was spoiled...But not me. Maybe she was a little spoiled...but she rocked it. She wasn't bitchy...she was just, matter-of-fact.

She told me when she grows up she wanted to design clothing for KMart. When I asked her why, she said "Well, have you seen the clothes in there...They need better stuff"

She said she was interested in clothes and then pointed out 3 people who she thought were KMart shoppers.

(Remember this was a flight inbound from Orlando, so seeking out KMart shoppers was not too tricky)

We arrived in New York, we had landed, but we were not yet at the gate. The flight attendant announced "Welcome to JFK, please remain seated with your seatbelts securely fastened until the captain has parked the aircraft at the gate"

As she said this, we heard the immediate clickety clack of everyone unfastening their seatbelts.

Jennifer rolled her 6 year old eyes and said "Dayyumm.. People are stupid. Didn't they hear what she just said?"

We arrived at the gate, and started to make our way off the plane.

Jennifer said "Well, I guess this is goodbye, John" and extended her hand for me to shake it. Which I did.

Her mother (who was still as hot in New York as she was in Orlando) said "Thank you for tolerating her..."

I told her mother of all the flights I've been on this was one of the best...

...because of Jennifer! :)